My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
