the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
