Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
