i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
