Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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