The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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