the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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