Where did you get a picture of my penis
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Sext me about skeletons
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize