Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I think I just sharted jello shots
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize