SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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