i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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