wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize