Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
