Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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