I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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