no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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