You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
