Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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