i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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