He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
