Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
