i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
