i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Dear god my vagina.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
