my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
