Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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