There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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