so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
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he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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