Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
