Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
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