And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
