The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
