she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
