i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
