It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My breasts were aching with rage.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
