I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
