If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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