Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
