Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
