Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
