next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize