This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
