Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
