he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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