took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
