He is such a slut. More and more my type.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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