The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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