id be glad to
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
