I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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