"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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