Even the bartender felt bad for me
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
