His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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