and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
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