my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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