Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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