white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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