god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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