I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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