Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
