her vagine was all disorganized.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
