You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
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