what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
