Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
