let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
