I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
