Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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